There is a chance that you spent the weekend feeling deflated and less than when it comes to your dreams, desires and goals because you spent the weekend trying to share them with your friends and family. Instead of being met with excitement and encouragement, you spent the week trying to convince them, that what you are doing really IS a good idea. It can be so frustrating and disheartening, leaving you questioning why you ever thought starting this business was a good idea in the first place.
You are most like the five people in your life that you spend the most time with.
When I first heard this quote, I was sitting at a free weekend training that I attend regularly with one of the companies that I am an affiliate with. It hit me hard, and made me take a look at where I spend my time and who I spend it with. Were my friends:
- Driven?
- Encouraging?
- World changers?
- Positive?
- Demonstrate love?
Or did they:
- Gossip?
- Slander others?
- Demotivate me?
- Roll their eyes when I shared my dreams?
- Try to talk me out of chasing big goals?
When I started to dream bigger, my friend groups started to change and it was really lonely for a while. Being a visionary and a leader CAN be very lonely at times. Finding friends who believe in you, who support you and who SEE you doing greater things than you see for yourself is essential.
Here are 6 Things You Can Do To Find Likeminded People In Your Life: (and I’ve done all of these!)
1. PRAY
This might not be where you start and that’s ok. But for me? I started with prayer and began praying that God would bring me the right friends that he knew I needed. It was a challenge every day for a season, and I shed a lot of tears. But I faithfully prayed that my friend group would change to be full of really solid friends who I knew were NOT gossiping about me. It took some time, but things began to shift and change for the better. But I never gave up praying. I also would journal a lot, and loved using a prayer journal similar to THIS ONE.
2. LOOK AND WAIT
Don’t jump into anything with anyone right away. Give yourself to look around and to wait, taking the chance to see who is here and who is already trying to be a good friend. You absolutely might have one or two really solid people already inside your circle group, and it would be a shame to count out your entire current friend group if that is the case. Who is already here with you and who has proven to be supportive? Maybe you already have one person, and now it’s time to wait for others to be authentically brought into your circle. Commit to NOT rushing this process! Wait for the right people to be brought into your life and while it can take some time, it’s really going to be worth the wait.
3. DON’T SETTLE
I know how lonely the beginning part of this process can be. It’s hard to wait for a circle of friends to build who you trust and who are excited to support your dreams. But trust me one this one- DON’T SETTLE! When you choose to wait for the very best for you in your life, it’s worth every single second of those friendships. They will stick closer to you than a brother and be cherished friends that you can do life with. If you rush this process, you might miss out on the friendships that are serendipitous to your life. Trust me on this one. Commit to allowing the right people to come your way, and don’t settle just because you’re lonely. Finding the right people is everything and there ARE amazing people out there who will make wonderful friends for you and your life. You only need to find them!
4. BE WILLING TO ACCEPT NEW PEOPLE
This one is important. You have to be willing to allow new people into your life. You have to be ok with letting new people to move into spaces that are being occupied now. It can be a hard realization, to sit and and say “I don’t want to be like the 5 people I’m the most closest to.” And it can be even harder to actually do something about it. Many people won’t. One way I looked at it from the very beginning, was just to allow new people in. I wasn’t ditching the friends I currently had, but allowing room for new people to move into my life. The voices I started listening to, changed. And I allowed them to shift and change and then overtime, my circle of 5 people closest to me was totally different. I allowed myself to accept new people, I started spending more time with others who reflected the qualities I was looking for, and overtime, who I surrounded myself with what different. It was a slower process for me, but I still value my old friends. They weren’t doing anything wrong necessarily, but what I needed in the forms of support and encouragement, changed. And that’s ok!
5. INVEST IN OTHERS BACK
Make sure that you’re spending time pouring into others too. Listen to THEIR dreams. Be the friend that you desire to have! This isn’t a one sided road, or at least it shouldn’t be. Lean into what it means to listen to and serve others. You don’t have to do this with every friend you have, but the ones who you think might really turn into cherished friends- it’s important that you are also investing in THEM. Be genuinely interested in what lights them up and give to them. This can go a long way with any friends who might be worth it. And trust me, having good friends who support you in your dreams is always worth it!
6. LISTEN TO HOW PEOPLE RESPOND
It’s possible that you are already listening to how people respond, and that’s why you feel so defeated. Your current group might not understand what you’re trying to build or why, and that can be really disheartening. Instead of allowing it to totally take you down emotionally, commit to walking through the first five steps and then, just listen to how people respond. When you start to attract the positive friend group to your life, the responses change a bit. When you share your dreams, are you met with support and enthusiastic responses? Or is it eye rolls and discouragement to talk you out of the growth you desire? If you really listen and commit to waiting for the right people to enter into your life, you’ll notice how the responses are different. You’ll notice how they change and you’ll begin to feel it. Start spending more time with the people who are responding with your best interest at heart. Those who want to see you succeed and who lift you up, even if there’s constructive criticism in certain moments. Listen to how their responses make you feel. Do you feel moved to grow and get better? Does it feel like a safe place that allows growth? Or does it feel stifling and embarrassing? These are important questions to ask, and their responses are important to notice.
My friends now get so excited when I share my dreams, and they likely jump on board in the ways they can. Whether that be through prayer, to help, to listen, or to just bring me an iced coffee- they are willing to support even the biggest dreams that I have! But they best part? I also am more than willing to do this for THEM. It’s easier to be all of who you are when you have supportive people around you, and it makes life much more fun!
My encouragement today?
Fight for renewed friendships in your life. Take inventory of the people that you currently hang out with. Are they helping encourage your dreams? Or are they making fun of them? Are they believing in you? Or are they telling you that your dreams are never going to happen? You deserve to have a group of friends who believe in you enough to speak giant blessings over you, before you even have time to dream them yourself. Don’t give up! Start the work and believe that it’s possible. You deserve to be surrounded with people who will champion you and cheer you on no matter what. And those people are absolutely out there!
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