Do you feel like no matter how hard you try to appear positive on the outside, your insides are ridden with self doubt, negative talk, and worst case thinking? Do you self sabotage when you begin something new and then repeat the narrative that you are stupid, a fraud or can’t ever achieve your dreams? Do you minimize your goals and dreams to others to make yourself fit in?
I have always had a negative mindset and I didn’t really realize it. I’ve spent my life trying to remain positive and have dedicated my life to encouraging others. But inside my own mind? I would beat myself up daily. I would minimize my dreams and ask myself, ‘who is really going to listen to me on my blog/magazine/social media/podcast? What do I REALLY have to offer?’
I would get good ideas in motion and sometimes lack the follow through. I can see now that it was a negative mindset that prevented me from moving forward. It was a negative mindset that allowed me to continually self sabotage. The positivity I aimed for would move me forward a little bit, but I would always hit a wall because of my negative self talk. I would say, ‘I can do this!’ and believe it, but then not start OR sort of start OR dream of starting because I was afraid. I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to step ip to the plate and accomplish my giant dreams.
I struggled with believing that success was for me and that I was truly enough inside of my God given dreams.
So the narrative I played inside my brain was created to protect myself from failure or from heartache. It was there to keep me safe BUT in being kept safe, it also kept me sad. It felt better to continue to encourage other people who were struggling and to find purpose in it. I wanted to believe that I could do and be anything! And I definitely believed that for YOU. I wanted to believe it for me, but I constantly had self doubt and negative words looming in my brain, and it often felt too maddening to overcome.
At trainings for my network marketing business, they often would say that our ‘mindset would take us as far as we could go’ and ‘if you weren’t happy in your business and where you were at, that it was likely because you needed to change your mindset.’ I was always bewildered by that and often thought, ‘Ok, but HOW do I do that?’ I was maddening.
Slowly, I began and committed to doing the work. I started by visualizing the outcomes I desired as if they already happened. I committed to taking my thoughts captive as soon as I recognized a negative thought. I committed to changing the narrative I was telling myself, no matter how long it took. Somedays, it felt impossible and like I was never going to quiet the negative voice in my head. She didn’t want to leave easily it seemed!
I could talk about this forever because it’s truly been one of the biggest struggles I have had to face and try to overcome. And I am STILL in the thick of it. I began my mindset healing journey in January 2019 and it was a very hard year for me because I had to begin to rewrite a lot of what I believed about myself and my past, in order to make deeper progress to move forward. It’s not for the faint of heart BUT if you struggle with a negative mindset, you owe it to yourself to do the work.
Things that helped me that might begin to help you:
- Writing dreams and goals down daily
- Stopping negative thoughts as soon as you recognize them
- Replace negative thoughts with positive ones that eliminate doubt
- Mindset books
- Reading my Bible daily
- Self care
- Do one more thing every day that proves you are capable
- Seek out therapy if you need it
Truly, filling my mind with positivity every day and committing to taking my negative thoughts captive was what helped the most. Books that I read that helped were Think & Grow Rich, Willpower Doesn’t Work, You Are A Badass, Dare To Lead, and Go For No. For starters. HA.
I read my Bible every day. I have the You Version App on my phone, but I also really love my journal bible. I have one that’s similar to THIS one. I also use the She Reads Truth bible as well, and love the layouts, colors, and personalization towards women that I find there.
I try to meditate daily, but if I can’t then for sure weekly. If I’m particularly stressed, I aim to mediate more. I use the Headspace app and really enjoy how effective it is. This book is a great resource too.
I also have sought out therapy for over a year now. I get asked often where I go and who I see, and for my own privacy, I don’t hand out that information. However, I do have some resources that I could send your way so if that’s something you’re interested in, comment below and I will respond with some information.
Give yourself GRACE. Commit to doing the work no matter how long it takes. And remember that it’s not going to change overnight. But every little bit of work you do each day, and if you’re consistent in it, you will see your mindset shift and change until you realize that you’ve overcome it. You deserve to live outside of that cloud! Negative thoughts are such a challenge but the freedom that comes from doing the work is so worth it. Don’t give up, don’t give in, and keep going. Choose joy and choose to believe that there is MORE for you. You’ve got this!
Make every day stellar!